Ron the Seer
by phuketrix
Summary: Suddenly Ron went rigid in his arm chair. His eyes became unfocused and his mouth sagged... (HPHG, RWHG or HPRW?)
1. The boy who foretold

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry  
  
Ron the Seer  
  
Chapter 1: The boy who foretold  
  
Late one winter's night, Harry, Ron and Hermione were lounging around the Gryffindor common room. Hermione was writing an essay and Ron was playing wizard's chess with Harry. Suddenly a funny thought came into Ron's head.  
  
"Hey Harry, do you reckon I could be a Seer?" he asked.  
  
Immediately Harry and Hermione burst into fits of laughter. It was a deliciously random comment.  
  
"Yeah, when Neville flies!" exclaimed Harry.  
  
"He flew last week, when his 'wingardium leviosa' spell backfired!" said Ron heatedly.  
  
"When Neville gets a girlfriend then." smirked Hermione.  
  
"He does. He's going out with my slutty sister!" Said Ron blinking.  
  
"Hehehehe. You're sister's slutty!" laughed Harry.  
  
"But what's that got to do with me being a Seer?" said Ron angrily.  
  
Both Hermione and Harry sighed. They could not believe their friend was actually serious about this.  
  
"Look, Ron, Seer's inherit their gift for prophecy making. I doubt any of your family has the ability to do so. You would certainly have told us about it if they did." explained Hermione.  
  
"That's bollocks. My dad's made heaps of prophecies. He wrote me, telling me I was going to fail my exam if I didn't study last week, and it happened!"  
  
"Did you study?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Nope." said Ron.  
  
"Well, that's why you failed then, isn't it?" said Hermione.  
  
"Which is exactly what the prophecy foretold! Are you even listening..."  
  
But that was as far into the sentence as he got. Suddenly he went rigid in his arm chair. His eyes became unfocused and his mouth sagged.  
  
"THERE ARE STRONG FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN THOSE IN THIS ROOM. HOWEVER BY THE NEXT FULL MOON, THREE WEEKS FROM NOW, ONE FRIENDSHIP WILL BE DESTROYED, AND ANOTHER WILL BLOSSOM INTO SOMETHING MORE." He said harshly.  
  
And when Ron came back to his senses he found both Harry and Hermione laughing and applauding wildly.  
  
"Bravo, bravo!" said Harry wiping away tears of laughter from his eyes. 'That was a bloody brilliant performance."  
  
"Encore!" said Hermione. "That was great. A very realistic portrayal. How'd long did you take to practice it?"  
  
"What?" asked Ron. "What did I say?"  
  
"Ooh. Still in character are we?" laughed Hermione.  
  
"What? Seriously, what did I say???" said Ron angrily.  
  
"I don't know... something about a friendship being destroyed and another being something more. I was too busy laughing at your face." Smiled Harry.  
  
"Guys, I'm serious. I didn't plan that. Wow... my first prophecy! I really am a Seer." mused Ron.  
  
"Sure you are Ron. Hey, maybe you can predict my victory in this game. Castle to E6!" said Harry ordering his castle to attack Ron's bishop.  
  
"Not a chance." grinned Ron, as his focus went back to the game, and Hermione's back to her essay.  
  
It was strangely quiet as they continued with their activities, and one could distinctly hear the dull roar of the fireplace. But that was because Ron, Harry and Hermione, who were at that time still best friends, were the only three people in Gryffindor common room that night.  
  
Author's Note: Hope you liked it! Is Ron really a Seer? If you think he is, please review and make your own prophecy! Who'll do you think will get with who? And which friendship will fall apart? 


	2. You are going to die soon, dear

Author's Note: Hey guys, thanks for reviewing! Wow, I didn't know there were so many Harry/Ron fans out there lol! It's definitely a possibility =) Hope you enjoy the next chapter.  
  
Chapter 2: You are going to die soon, dear.  
  
The next afternoon, both Harry and Ron had Divination. Professor Trelawney's lesson was spent in silence, as she asked them to use their Inner Eyes to write an essay predicting the future of Hogwarts over the next hundred years.  
  
As usual, whenever she saw Harry, her round eyes grew wide with pity, and she sighed sympathetically. When, while walking around the class, she saw that Harry had come up with nothing for his essay except, 'It will still be a school.' she said to him, "My dear boy, is that all? Don't worry, I don't expect exceptional work from someone who knows his end is near."  
  
"What does that mean?" snapped Harry.  
  
"Well, I'll try and put this to you nicely... you are going to die soon, dear."  
  
Harry had a look of disgust on his face. "How was THAT nice?" he retorted angrily.  
  
"Did you not hear me say the 'dear' part?" said Trelawney coolly.  
  
"Hag." muttered Harry under his breath as Trelawney went over to look at Ron's essay.  
  
"Good work!" she said to Ron reading what he had written so far. "Yes, I too predicted the school would become an amusement park run by monkeys...and yes, I too foresaw the destruction of the roller-coaster by workers who were not paid enough bananas!"  
  
She beamed at him. "Ron, this is wonderful. I was not a big fan of your predictions before, but it is almost as if you have been reborn with the inner eye!"  
  
"Thanks." Replied Ron, grinning.  
  
After class, Ron stayed behind as he wanted to ask Professor Trelawney about his newly discovered gift. Harry, although dying to get away from Trelawney, the teacups, and the sickly perfumed smell of the room, reluctantly waited for him.  
  
"Mrs. Trelawney?" said Ron.  
  
"Yes?" said Trelawney.  
  
"I think I told my first real prophecy last night."  
  
"Oh! Tell me, dear, go on!"  
  
"I can't remember telling it, but my friend Harry told me it was something about a friendship being destroyed and another transforming into something more..."  
  
At this, Professor Trelawney gave Harry a disapproving look. "You should really find someone more reliable to record your predictions, dear." She said.  
  
"Filthy hag." mumbled Harry under his breath.  
  
"And how did this prediction come to you?" asked Trelawney.  
  
"Well, I don't know. Harry and Hermione told me that suddenly my jaw went all slack and I spoke in harsh tones..."  
  
At this, Trelawney looked amused.  
  
"Oh really? My dear, I'm sorry to inform you but that type of prediction is not a real one. You should really learn to ignore them. I have studied them a great deal throughout the years, and they are usually complete nonsense."  
  
"Are you mad?" asked Harry infuriated. "Those are the only form of real predictions...prophecies!"  
  
"Do not listen to Death's shoe shiner." spoke Trelawney mystically. "I wouldn't go bragging about the prediction you have made. Most learned Seers, and even common wizards would laugh at it. It does not mean you do not have the gift though dear. I would focus your energies on proper predictions, like the one in your essay."  
  
"Now, I'm sorry but you must be off, I have essays to mark." She said pointing to a pile on her desk, of which Harry's essay was on top. "Have a nice afternoon."  
  
She quickly ushered them down the ladder and back onto the landing. The meeting certainly gave Ron a lot to think about. Was the prediction he made really nonsense? Or was Professor Trelawney just trying to protect her dignified reputation of being the only Seer at Hogwarts?  
  
"I'm Death's shoe shiner??? That woman is insane." said Harry. "Honestly Ron, give it up. How far do you have to go with this joke? It's getting pretty lame."  
  
"It's not a joke, mate." said Ron. "And even if it was, you can't talk. What about the three weeks we wasted trying to get into Dumbledore's office because you wanted to find out whether the Sorting Hat was a guy or a girl?"  
  
"I still say it's a guy." Said Harry hotly.  
  
"Harry, it was just some loose thread!" retorted Ron. 


	3. Ron's slutty sister

Chapter 3: Ron's slutty sister  
  
That night, Harry and Ron stumbled back into Griffindor Common Room, exhausted from three full hours of Quidditch practice.  
  
Harry eager for rest, was first to head straight to bed. But soon he was running back to the common room.  
  
"Uh Ron?" he said quietly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I don't recommend you go to bed just yet."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Er...just trust me on this one..."  
  
"No, seriously why?"  
  
"Ok, Neville and your sister are making out on your bed." said Harry softly.  
  
"What?!?" shouted Ron. "That little animal!"  
  
"That's not the worst part." Said Harry even quieter. "Seamus and Dean are watching from behind the curtains!"  
  
That was all Ron needed to hear. He stormed up the stairs three steps at a time in an absolute rage, and Harry followed. Sure enough, as he entered the dormitory, he saw Seamus and Dean crouching in front of his bed, peeping through the narrow slit in the drawn curtains. As they saw him they both whirled around and stood up frantically, their backs upright.  
  
"Er... hey Ron... how's stuff?" asked Seamus.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" barked Ron viciously.  
  
"Well you see we were just, uh, checking out these curtains... they have such a pretty pattern on them don't you agree Seamus?" Said Dean, and Seamus nodded repeatedly.  
  
"Don't give me that bull you disgusting perverts. You call yourself friends? YOU WERE LOOKING AT THIS WEREN'T YOU!" Ron yelled as he flung back the curtains in a dramatic swipe.  
  
Sure enough, Ginny and Neville were there sitting on his bed, Ginny on Neville's lap, their hair messy, and looking very sheepish.  
  
Ron grabbed Ginny by the ear and pulled her out.  
  
"Owwww my ear!" Ginny whined angrily.  
  
"How could you be so disgusting!?" he said hotly. "How am I ever going to sleep tonight knowing you did....STUFF right here on my bed??"  
  
"Let go of me, you jerk. I'm not your little sister anymore, I can do whatever I want!" retorted Ginny childishly as she pulled free from Ron's grip.  
  
"NOT WHEN IT INVOLVES NEVILLE 'S ASS PRINT ON MY PILLOW!"  
  
Neville quickly stood up from the bed, and sure enough, he had been sitting on Ron's pillow. It now had two, even, bowl shaped dents on it. Seamus and Dean laughed, as he, red-faced, quickly turned the pillow over.  
  
"WHY MY BED, HUH, NEVILLE? WHY NOT YOUR OWN BED, HUH? WHY- NOT- YOURS??? " said Ron edging towards him threateningly.  
  
"And let Trevor see me??? " said Neville shocked. "You know that's his hangout spot!"  
  
"OH IT'S NOT OKAY FOR A TOAD TO SEE YOU, BUT TWO OF YOUR OWN CLASSMATES IS FINE???"  
  
"You we're watching, huh?" said Ginny to Dean and Seamus. She gave them both a flirty smile and they grinned back. "Saw anything you liked?"  
  
"OH ENOUGH! HAVE YOU NO DIGNITY? GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I DECIDE TO SEND AN OWL TO MUM ABOUT THIS DISPLAY..."  
  
"You wouldn't..." said Ginny defiantly, but Ron raised his eyebrows and she knew instantly he wasn't kidding.  
  
"My god, you're so uptight. It was just a bit of fun! You're worse than Percy!" she said, and stormed off.  
  
Ron sighed. He was sick of yelling at her. He was actually quite used to his sister's behaviour and knew there was nothing he could do. Ginny had been out of control ever since her fifth year. Everyone at Hogwarts knew of her guy addiction, and made bets as to who would be her new boyfriend each week.  
  
He turned around and found Neville, Seamus, and Dean all standing there dumbly looking somewhat disappointed. He glared at them all angrily.  
  
"L-listen Ron, I'm sorry..." said Neville. "Don't be mad at us....please let me explain....you see...your sister is really quite hot..."  
  
Ron looked at him in disgust.  
  
"Or not. Oh look, it's past my bedtime, bye!" he said quickly as he scampered to his four poster bed and drew the curtains.  
  
"Er...we...now...bed ...head...off...too" stuttered Seamus as he and Dean scurried away like frightened mice into their respective beds, and hurriedly pulled their curtains shut, leaving Ron and Harry standing alone. Ron's face was red with anger.  
  
"Ron?" said Harry.  
  
"Yeah?" said Ron.  
  
"I have an extra pillow case, if you want to use it." He said.  
  
"Thanks Harry." Said Ron glumly.  
  
"And if it makes you feel any better... I don't think her nipple ever made an appearance..."  
  
"Maybe you should get to bed." said Ron turning slowly to face him, his mouth twitching.  
  
"I think so too." said Harry quickly, and off he went.  
  
Author's Note: Thanks all for reviewing! Lucidity, you're right, this is more of a comedy...so I'm changing the category to comedy/adventure, even though there will definitely be romantic elements. Hope you all enjoy the next chapter and please review! 


	4. The night gets worse

Chapter 4: The night gets worse  
  
Tormented by his thoughts, Ron was way too furious to sleep. Why was his sister so terrible, and his friends such perverts? And why did things always have to be weird for him? He stomped back to the Common Room, where he grumpily slouched down on a couch. Hermione was there, busy practicing transfiguration exercises from class.  
  
She sensed his mood and smiled at him. "I can't believe Ginny." She said quietly.  
  
"How did you know?" Ron asked.  
  
"I saw her storm by." she said.  
  
Ron sighed. "Yeah. She's terrible. I really don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Okay...I understand..."  
  
For a moment Hermione seemed like she had something more to say, but she looked back at her transfiguration notes, leaving Ron staring angrily into space. Gradually the image of a certain violated pillow began to fade from Ron's mind, and he began to feel relaxed and cozy by the warm fire. He picked up a Quidditch magazine on the lounge table and started browsing through the pictures. However, suddenly his eyes caught sight of Hermione.  
  
She was smiling and staring at him in a really curious way.  
  
"What?" he asked quickly.  
  
She looked away, blushing. "Er, nothing."  
  
There was a really awkward pause.  
  
"Ok...There is something." Hermione finally blurted out. "It's been on my mind all day. Has it been in yours?"  
  
"Uh, I don't know...what's been on your mind?" asked Ron.  
  
"Well..." said Hermione slowly. "We're friends right?"  
  
"Ofcourse..." said Ron.  
  
"Ok...l-lately I've been feeling that you've...well...got something important to tell me..." she stuttered, suddenly becoming very interested in the carpet.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"I just want to let you know that ... if you do have something to ...well... ask me...please don't be afraid to say it straight, okay?"  
  
Ron couldn't think of anything important. Was this about Ginny? She seemed like she want him to have a heart to heart with her about his sister's escapades. Didn't he just tell her he didn't want to talk about it? He really wasn't in the mood.  
  
"Look, Hermione, thanks for being there, but I'm way too tired to go into Ginny's situation right now, ok?"  
  
To his surprise Hermione started laughing. "Not that! Listen....I think it's really sweet, but if you have something to say you don't have to go through all that elaborate...stuff. All you have to do is be honest and say it straight."  
  
Her eyes looked as though he was supposed to catch on, but he still had no idea what the hell she was on about!  
  
Then Hermione did something really strange. She got out of her couch and walked over to where Ron was sitting and slumped right next to him. Their shoulders were touching and Hermione was giving him a playful look, which as beautiful as it was, was making him really uncomfortable.  
  
"Uhhh...Hermione what are you doing???" squeaked Ron uneasily. She smiled again as if he was acting silly, but he was quite sure that she was the one off her knockers right now.  
  
"I'm talking about what you were trying to tell me last night..." she said softly.  
  
"Uh, I don't recall..."  
  
"The whole...seer thing..."  
  
"Yeah, what's that got to do with..."  
  
"A friendship in this room will blossom into something more..." she whispered, her eyes twinkling.  
  
It suddenly dawned upon Ron what she was thinking and an alarm went off in his head. His body suddenly shifted away from Hermione, and her smile disappeared.  
  
"Ok" he said slowly, trying to keep things calm, even though his heart was thumping wildly, and was sure hers was too. "Let's...back up a bit. You think that whole prophecy thing last night was just my weird way of trying to tell you that...I..." he trailed off, at a loss for words.  
  
"W-Well..." she stuttered. "...I mean...I just...."  
  
Hermione's face suddenly went really red. For a moment it looked as though she was fighting back tears. But then, she jumped out of the couch and started pacing back and forth nervously, her eyes unable to match her friend's.  
  
Ron watched her pacing, wishing he had decided to sleep. He felt he would've gladly sunk his face into his Neville butt-print pillow if he had known he would endure this akwardness! What was the proper thing to do?  
  
"Listen...Hermione..." he finally mumbled but was abruptly cut off.  
  
"That was a really sick game to play!" She said shrilly.  
  
"What? I wasn't playing any game!" said Ron heatedly.  
  
"Oh. That's just typical. Why the hell would you say something like that then? What did it mean then?"  
  
"..I don't know...I didn't even know I said it..."  
  
"You don't just make crazy things up like that, okay? Confusing me to death... I was going insane trying to decipher your code all day. You said one friendship would be destroyed. No idea what that was about. But then you said another would blossom into something more....I was sure that we were the only three people in that room last night, which meant three special friendships. You and I, Harry and I, you and Harry." She said quickly, still pacing. "I was pretty sure you didn't want Harry and I to..."  
  
"Ofcourse not!" said Ron angrily.  
  
"So you fancy Harry then????"  
  
"What?????? NOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Ron.  
  
"Well by deduction, I just assumed you were trying to tell me...."  
  
"Look Hermione, I'm really sorry, but I think you're just reading too much into the whole thing."  
  
"Well, that's what I thought!" said Hermione still red. "But then I asked Ginny and..."  
  
Ron stood up. "You asked my slutty sister for advice???? What were you thinking??" he retorted.  
  
"Well she's your sister....she probably knows more about you than anyone else!" retorted Hermione. "I was so sure this was one of those typical crazy things that you do, and I just needed someone to help me understand it!"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about? What crazy stuff?"  
  
"Well....like the Yule Ball, when you got all angry at me when I went with Krum! What was that about?"  
  
"What? That's... you ...if... KRUM'S GROUCHY!! And besides I can't believe you don't believe I made a real prophecy last night."  
  
"Oh, comon! Drop the act! You expect me to believe that? That someone just says 'Ooo...wouldn't it be cool if I was a seer' and it just happens seconds later?" raged Hermione.  
  
"Well ...that's what happened! You said I could tell you anything! What's the use if you don't believe me?" said Ron furiously.  
  
Hermione sighed looking away, her lips trembling. "Look, you know what?" she said defiantly, "You can play your mind games tomorrow, I'm too tired tonight." And with that she turned away and stormed up to her dormitory, hurt and embarrassed.  
  
She's crazy, he thought as he stood there dumbfounded. Yet, he couldn't deny that a part of him thought it wouldn't have been so bad if he had went along with her story. 


	5. The second prophecy

Author's Note: Hey loyal Seer fans! You guys rock! Both of you hehe. Here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy it =) By the way, did anyone see the trailer for the new Harry Potter movie: PoA? It looks awesome, except for that whole double double toil and trouble choir thing. What were they thinking?  
  
Chapter 5: The Second Prophecy  
  
The next morning Harry and Ron headed down for breakfast in the Great Hall. Ron was still grouchy and upset from all that had happened the night before. As he sat down he noticed that Seamus, Dean, Neville, Ginny and Hermione, who were all already at the table, avoided eye contact with him.  
  
"Harry, have you noticed that ever since I became a Seer, certain 'friends' seem to pretend I don't exist?" he questioned loudly enough for all of them to hear.  
  
"Sorry?" said Harry through a mouthful of breakfast. From across the table, Ginny stifled a giggle. Seamus and Dean smirked.  
  
"Never mind." grumbled Ron as he started on his bacon and egg breakfast. It was freshly cooked, and delicious, and it helped him forget last night's big drama.  
  
Soon the hall was filled with owls delivering the morning mail. Pig excitedly swooped down towards Ron, delivering a letter from his mother. He opened it and read quietly.  
  
Dear Ron,  
  
How's school been treating you, dear? Not up to any mischief I hope, hmmm? Harry wrote me five full pages about his "adventures" with the Sorting Hat. Honestly Ron, can't you get him to do something more constructive? The boy is obviously resorting to these escapades because he's upset about his past.  
  
Everything is going fine here. Bill and Fleur are now officially an item! How exciting, although I do feel so old Ron, knowing my first grandchild could be just around the corner! Your father is busy as usual, and has been called on an emergency trip to Scotland. Apparently some wizard teens have been using a dragon to fool the local Muggles into thinking the Lochness Monster exists. Those naughty fools. And I thought no-one could be worse than Fred and George!  
  
And speaking of naughty fools, what's my only daughter been up to? You promise you will report everything to me won't you? Please remind her she's playing a very dangerous game using her body that way. She looks up to you Ron. In fact, I want you to have a stern talk with her about s-e-  
  
EWWWW!!!! Ron stopped reading and scrunched up the letter in disgust. A heart to heart talk with his sister about you-know-what??? The last thing he needed was more punishment for her wrongdoing. Frowning glumly, he looked over to see if Harry's mail was any better, and noticed he was unraveling a light blue parchment. He watched as Harry's eyes fell upon the parchment and widened in shock.  
  
"Oh my GOD!!!" yelled Harry.  
  
"What??? Who's that from?" Ron asked.  
  
"No-one. I didn't get any letter. I don't even know what a letter is." said Harry quickly putting away the parchment.  
  
"What was that piece of paper with writing on it in your hand then?" asked Ron.  
  
"Er...a napkin." said Harry  
  
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Seriously, what's it about?" asked Ron.  
  
"Nothing. It's private ok?" retorted Harry.  
  
"Comon show me, I'm your friend!" said Ron making a grab at the letter.  
  
"No!!!" said Harry defensively. "Trust me, of all people...you don't want to see this..."  
  
Now Ron was really furious. First he found Ginny and Neville in his bed. Then the whole Hermione thing. And now his best friend was hiding important information that concerned him.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with everyone????" screamed Ron to the enchanted ceiling. "Can my luck get any worse???"  
  
And as if on cue, his eyes became unfocused and his mouth sagged.  
  
"A NEW SEER HAS RISEN BUT HE MUST BE VERY CAREFUL. THERE IS ONE WHO KNOWS AND FEARS HIS NEW POWER, AND IS AT THIS MOMENT ACTIVELY PLOTTING TO DESTROY IT."  
  
"THE SEER MUST FACE THIS FOE IN BATTLE IF HE IS TO MAKE HIS NEXT PROPHECY, ONE WHICH IS VITAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF HOGWARTS."  
  
And when Ron came to his senses he found an entire hall full of students applauding and making loud noises. Some were laughing so hard bits of bacon were flying from their mouths. Others were not so impressed, and rolled their eyes in indignation. Others were sneering at him as if he was a pestilential attention seeker.  
  
Ron looked over and saw Hermione's face pale staring in shock from across the table. He buried his head in his hands hoping to disappear.  
  
And in all the chaos, not one student noticed that Professor Trelawney, in the middle of her meal, had risen from the teacher's table, and had quickly and quietly hurried out. 


	6. Ron the tea leaf

Chapter 6: Ron the tea leaf  
  
Harry and Ron were in the library doing research for a Herbology essay. It had been several days since the big breakfast performance and Ron was trying to keep a low profile until all the name calling died down. The library was the perfect place to be left alone, and ponder and reflect on how to cope with his possible newfound power.  
  
Hermione still wasn't speaking to him but yesterday he had found a piece of parchment on his bed with the words "I believe you." scribed in elegant handwriting. It had to be her he thought, and hoped to talk to her soon. Harry on the other hand did not talk about the breakfast at all, and Ron was glad for it, since he had heard enough Seer talk from the rest of the school. He did defend Ron against the onslaught, saying stuff like, "Ron's not a Seer you are!", and "Your face is!", but to be honest Ron wasn't sure if Harry still thought the whole thing was a joke.  
  
Sometimes, Ron wished this whole thing was a joke. After all the whole school certainly thought so, and even Professor Trelawney said his type of prophecy wasn't real.  
  
However deep inside, he couldn't deny he had made two prophecies. And he quivered when he recalled the haunting words of his second. Was someone really actively plotting to destroy his power? If so, how and when would he have to face this foe? Should he start preparing for battle?  
  
"Well, well, well....what have we here?" Harry and Ron wheeled around. Their eyes met the pale pointed face of Draco Malfoy, his hair moussed, his mouth in a smirk. They both glared at him with looks of utmost hatred. Malfoy was one of the leaders of the "Insulting Ron the Seer " movement.  
  
"It's the happy couple... Seer face, and scar face!" said Malfoy nastily.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Honestly, can your calls get any more lame, Malfoy breath?" he retorted.  
  
Malfoy ignored the fact that Potter had just rocked himself and pulled out a parchment from his robes. "I've just done a school survey of the best nick names for the Weasel. I'm sure you would like to hear the results? Let's see now...oh yes...  
  
"Coming in third place, 'Ronnie the freckled face Prophie'...combines both your Seeriness and your ugliness in the one phrase!"  
  
"In second place, 'Breakfast Boofhead' I like the boof part the best!"  
  
"But the winner by far would have to be 'Ron the Tea leaf'...hahahaha which makes sense... you do look awfully like a tea leaf now, don't you?"  
  
Ron laughed. "Let me guess... you came up with all the names, you're the only one who ever used them, and you we're the only one who took the survey?"  
  
"Shut up, tea leaf."  
  
"Are you done?" said Harry. "Or would you like to sit down? We saved you a seat...it's over there in that far corner."  
  
"Sure I'll gladly leave, if you make a prediction for me..." said Malfoy grinning evilly. "Tell me Teacup, how many guys will your sister get through before she leaves school? A hundred or two?"  
  
Ron stood up, his fists clenched.  
  
"Hmmm I dunno...how many fragments can I break your jaw into? " said Ron challengingly.  
  
"Please, no need for threats, I'll gladly leave the likes of you." said Malfoy coolly. "For now, I'll be off to read the Daily Prophet. Or should I say the Daily Weasel? Haha!"  
  
It was at that moment, across the room, that Ron caught sight of someone familiar, browsing the shelves. It was Hermione. Their eyes met and she looked awkwardly at him at first, but then gave him a small smile. It gave Ron an idea. Quickly he pointed at the bookcase near Hermonie, gave her a wink then called out to Malfoy.  
  
"Hey Malfoy!"  
  
"What now, Weasel?" drawled Malfoy, turning around.  
  
"I've got another... uh... prophecy for you!"  
  
Malfoy smiled in delight. "Really... like what? The sun will rise tomorrow? Or your family will be poor for the rest of eternity?"  
  
"Nope. It's a warning. You must be very careful, and watch yourself, where ever you go...as I foresee that you are destined to meet pain head on..." he said mystically and loud enough for everyone around to hear, then glanced again at Hermione. Hermione looked puzzled for a second, but soon got the hint, and grinned back. Softly she said a spell, and the bookshelf quietly slid directly behind Malfoy.  
  
Malfoy mused. "Is that a threat, Weasel?"  
  
"I don't do threats. I only report what my inner Eye sees..." he said coolly. "Beware....prophecies happen surprisingly soon, especially if the person is a complete idiot..."  
  
Malfoy laughed. "How long did it take you to memorize that Tea-face, a week? Honestly...you think that's going to scare me? How stupid do you think I am???"  
  
And with that he turned to walk off, and BANG, smacked head first into the bookcase, sending books crashing painfully down upon him. He fell hard backwards, and started to curl up on the floor, screaming "My eye, my eye!".  
  
Everyone who saw the scene laughed their heads off. Hermione came out from behind the bookcase beaming and gave Ron a hug.  
  
"I'm so sorry Ron. I really do believe you! I've been wanting to tell you how wrong I was ever since I saw what happened at breakfast..." She said.  
  
"Well actually thanks to you, I'm officially a Seer. I mean, this is the first of my prophecies that has actually come true." said Ron grinning. "And look....I'm sorry about the other night..."  
  
"Hey..." she gave a nervous laugh. "It was my fault for...well...let's just say its cool..." she said.  
  
"Cool." stated Ron and hugged her again.  
  
Harry was giving the bookcase an extra jiggle to make sure any remaining books on the shelf landed on the groaning target.  
  
"That was brilliant!" he said. "And hey, we don't need a list to know the top three nick names for Malfoy...they're git, git and git."  
  
They all laughed again.  
  
"Damn right." said Ron.  
  
"Followed by Malfoy breath, in the highly recommended section." Said Harry.  
  
"Er...yes... " lied Ron. 


	7. Ron the SSS

Hey, sorry for the hiatus! School work =( Here's the next installment, enjoy!  
  
Chapter 7: Ron the S.S.S  
  
That afternoon, Griffindor had Divination again. As the lesson began, they noticed that Professor Trelawney seemed irritable and twitchy. She gave her puzzled class some vague instructions on tea leaf reading, and then walked around the room muttering distractedly to herself.  
  
Also, Ron could not help notice that she was keeping a close eye on him, and was staring at him like a hawk. In fact, when Harry reached over to retrieve his tea pot, and momentarily blocked Ron from her view she screamed out, "Down in front!", so loudly that Harry jumped back into his seat in alarm.  
  
"I'm sorry dear..." she said quietly. "It's just that I ...uh... had another terrible vision about you."  
  
"But you said down in front..." said Harry. "Which means I was blocking your view of..."  
  
"No, no dear." she said quickly. "In the vision I had, a...uh... deadly curse was headed for you, which caused me to yell 'down in front' to...uh...warn you."  
  
"Uh ok. So, did I dodge the curse?" asked Harry.  
  
"I think you already know the answer to that question." she said.  
  
"So I did?" guessed Harry.  
  
Trelawney slowly shook her head.  
  
"Not even just a little bit?"  
  
Again, Trelawney slowly shook her head.  
  
"But I survived, right?"  
  
Again, Trelawney slowly shook her head.  
  
"Ugly, filthy hag." muttered Harry as she walked away. "She sure is staring at you a lot though. You'd think she might be interested..."  
  
"What??? Ewww... shut up, Harry!" said Ron.  
  
"Harry, are you distracting Ron from his work?" said Trelawney who had somehow made her way behind them.  
  
"No. I was just..."  
  
"No you we're, and I predict you will continue to do so if you stay in this class today. Go and see your head of house."  
  
"WHAT??? BUT..." protested Harry.  
  
"NOW!" said Trelawney firmly.  
  
"Your girlfriend is a git." He whispered to Ron before storming out and heading for Professor McGonagall's office.  
  
Trelawney seemed more and more twitchy as the class neared its end. She seemed to be contemplating a decision. Ron was glad when the lesson finally finished, as she was beginning to make him feel most uncomfortable. But then....  
  
"Uh...Ron, could you please stay behind for a second, I... uh ... want to have a word with you." said Trelawney.  
  
"Uh ok..." said Ron slowly. "What could this be about?" he wondered as he nervously pulled at his pinkie finger. "Did he really want to be alone with her? Where was Harry when you needed him?" He watched as one by one, his fellow Griffindors hurriedly disappeared through the trapdoor, and wished he was one of them.  
  
Finally the last student left. It was deadly quiet. Ron looked back at Trelawney and found her standing in the middle of the room, as still as a statue, her eyes more round, wide and focused on him than ever. He waited for her to say something but she didn't. She just continued to stare at him silently, quietly. It seemed like she was in deep thought, as if she was contemplating some unspeakable task. Whatever it was, it was awkward as hell, and beginning to freak him out.  
  
"Please..." said Trelawney finally, just as Ron was about to make a bolt for the trapdoor. Her voice was slow and steady. "Take a seat."  
  
"Uh, I'm already sitting." Said Ron.  
  
There was a pause. "Oh." She said.  
  
"Uh...maybe you would like to take a seat?" asked Ron nervously.  
  
Trelawney looked down at her legs and it seemed she was surprised to see that they supported her.  
  
"Yes. I think I will." She said.  
  
She quickly moved over to Ron and sat on an armchair facing him.  
  
"Uh professor, are you okay?" asked Ron. "You don't seem to be yourself today..."  
  
At this Trelawney gave a very loud, high pitched laugh. "I'm finnneeee! Now I'm sure you know the reason why you're here?" she asked.  
  
"Uh, no..." said Ron.  
  
"Well, there are very rare occasions such as this, where a student such as yourself has excelled so rapidly in this subject, that it is impossible for his teacher... that's me, not to acknowledge his talent." Said Trelawney brightly.  
  
"Say what?" asked Ron staring blankly.  
  
"In ten years, I have not seen such amazing perception, and such accurate foresight into the mysteries of the future, as I have from you! Therefore, it's my great pleasure to present you with the official S.S.S. Award for Divination! Congratulations!"  
  
"the S.S...what?"  
  
"S.S.S... it stands for Super Special Student. Although it should be S.S.S.S for you...for you truly are a Seriously Super Special Student!"  
  
"Are you mad?" questioned Ron shocked. "You used to hate my work! Except for that essay I did, but to be honest, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I just made the whole thing up!"  
  
"Now, now, Ron, don't be bashful! You deserve every bit of this award! Here you go." Said Trelawney handing him a rather tattered piece of paper which seemed to be some sort of certificate.  
  
Ron examined the award. It didn't look very official at all. All its words were messily scribbled, as if it had been done last minute. And special was spelt wrong.  
  
Ron folded it up and put it into his robes. "Uh thanks." He said. "Can I go now?"  
  
"Go????" exclaimed Trelawney in shock, more wide eyed than ever. "Nonsense! Nonsense! It's now time for your presentation ceremony!"  
  
"Please don't make this more awkward than it already is...." said Ron.  
  
"First..." interrupted Trelawney, "I dance around your armchair..."  
  
And with a great surge of energy she jumped up, and began circling Ron, making weird flapping movements with her arms. Ron sighed, trying not to look directly at her.  
  
"Then, a congratulatory hug. Get up..." she said.  
  
Ron reluctantly rose from his seat, and Trelawney wrapped her bony arms around him in a tight hug. This really was quite a pathetic display, he thought. She wouldn't let go for a while, but Ron eventually shook her off.  
  
"And now..." she said, and paused to take a long, deep breath. "In accordance to S.S.S award receiving protocol...you drink your celebratory tea!" At this, she stumbled over to her teacher's table, nearly tripping over a pouffe, over to the teapot and cup that had been there since the beginning of class. She started pouring him some. Her hands were shaking, and she spilt a bit, but did not notice. When the teacup was full, she handed it to Ron.  
  
"Drink up!" she said more loud and high pitched than ever.  
  
Ron looked down at the teacup in his palm. What he saw was definitely not tea. First of all, it was purple. Secondly, it was hardly a liquid, as its surface had goobly chunks in it, and it seemed to be as thick as syrup. And lastly, it smelt like fresh vomit. To sum it up, yuck.  
  
"Uh..." said Ron recoiling. "I don't feel very celebratory today...I think I'll just head off..."  
  
"But young boy, it's tradition!" exclaimed Trelawney. "Just a little sip, don't mind the smell, it adds to the flavour!" she said smiling. "You'd make your teacher very proud."  
  
"No thanks." Said Ron, putting the teacup down. "Listen, I appreciate the certificate and the...", he paused to shiver, "...dance...but I really, truly should be going."  
  
"Oh comon now...not even a tiny, weeny sip? I really must insist..." said Trelawney nervously, almost begging.  
  
"I said no thanks." said Ron firmly and turned to leave, only to stop dead in his tracks.  
  
A sharp pincer grip had landed on Ron's shoulder and he realized it was Trelawney's skeletal hand. He turned to face her in alarm. Trelawney was not smiling. Her expression was more stern and serious than he had ever seen before.  
  
"Now, you listen here, Ron." she said slowly and dangerously. "You will drink this tea....for your own sake, and for those who care about you."  
  
Gerroff me." Ron said loudly and equally threateningly. Slowly Trelawney came to terms with what she was doing, she relaxed her grip and lowered her hand.  
  
"Sorry...I-I... don't know what came over me..." she said quietly.  
  
Ron turned away heading for the trapdoor.  
  
"Wait, there's just one more thing..." said Trelawney.  
  
And then it happened. SPLASH! As Ron turned around, thick purple syrup splattered painfully over his face. He jolted backwards from the shock of the impact, and screamed with disgust as he feverishly wiped the disgusting goop away from his eyes, nose and cheeks.  
  
"EWWWW!!!" he retorted angrily to a desperate, pale faced Trelawney, who now stood with an empty teapot in her clenched fist. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he yelled.  
  
"Is there a chance you swallowed any of that?" she asked.  
  
Ron was appalled. Without a response, he stormed to the trapdoor, jumped down the ladder three rungs at a time, and hurried away as fast as he could. 


End file.
